OPINIÓN: Nuestra teoría del amor / Esto no es Suecia
Juanjo Ortega
miembro de la junta directiva de Punt de Referència y coordinador de campañas y captación de fondos en la Obra Social Sant Joan de Déu.
Posiblemente, los suecos son, o han sido, la sociedad humana más antinatural. Los humanos somos sociales por naturaleza. Pero también somos culturales, y la cultura evoluciona y con ella cambiamos. La tribu era, en los tiempos más remotos, el núcleo de la vida. Todo pasaba en y con la tribu: la caza, la vida, las relaciones interpersonales… Con la agricultura y la ganadería, las sociedades se atomizan y los núcleos familiares van tomando fuerza, aunque perduran espacios de intensa vida social: los pueblos, las parroquias, los mercados… Las revoluciones industriales empujan a mucha gente a las ciudades, las viviendas se reducen y las familias se limitan a padres e hijos. Sin embargo, las tradiciones y la necesidad de apoyo mutuo aún mantienen firmes las relaciones entre dos y tres generaciones, y la emergente cultura del ocio fomenta espacios socializadores. Pero llega una triada que lo cambia todo: la sociedad del bienestar, que rompe los vínculos de interdependencia entre individuos; el valor del individualismo; y internet, que te permite vivir recluido en casa.
Volviendo a los suecos. En los años 70 se consideraban una sociedad tan avanzada que optaron por prescindir del grupo o, lo que es lo mismo, de las relaciones entre individuos. Su modelo cultural promovía el individualismo hasta el extremo y las autoridades suecas impulsaron avanzadísimos programas sociales que permitían que cualquier persona pudiera vivir de manera autónoma gracias al apoyo del Estado. Así, se rompían los secularmente ligados lazos familiares y grupales. Suecia se declaraba la sociedad más avanzada del mundo siendo, al mismo tiempo, la más antisocial. La consecuencia más dramática es que miles de suecos mueren en la más extrema soledad y nadie los echa de menos. Ni sus herederos. El fenómeno está magistralmente explicado en la película «La teoría sueca del amor» (2015), de Erik Gandini.
El individualismo siempre ha sido una reivindicación de los ricos. Los valores de una sociedad son el mejor reflejo de su idiosincrasia. En Europa tenemos las necesidades básicas bien resueltas: para comer vamos al supermercado y el gran dilema al que nos enfrentamos es qué elegir; si estamos enfermos vamos al médico de la sanidad pública y el inconveniente a superar es una cola o una lista de espera; para desplazarnos podemos elegir entre el coche particular, la bicicleta privada o la pública, el autobús que pasa muy a menudo, el metro, el taxi, el avión… Resueltas con creces estas necesidades básicas, provocamos otras nuevas, como la necesidad de autoconocimiento e introspección o la independencia individual. En este paradigma cultural, nace la demanda del derecho a la soledad.
En cambio, en los antípodas culturales, entre las muchas definiciones de pobreza se contempla el no disponer de una comunidad de apoyo. En los países pobres, la comunidad ayuda a cubrir las necesidades vitales. Por eso, cuando un gambiano o un senegalés hablan de la familia no se refieren solo a los hermanos y padres, también tiene cabida prácticamente cualquier persona del poblado o del territorio, con quien les une un grado de parentesco inimaginable para un occidental. Y por eso, cuando migran y llegan a un país europeo y comienzan a ganar los primeros ingresos, no dudan en enviar una parte a su familia y conocidos. Ayudarse mutuamente es uno de los fundamentos de su moral. Saben que la soledad es la peor desgracia que puede sufrir una persona. Les va la vida. La necesidad social está por encima de todas las demás necesidades básicas: la salud, la comida, la vivienda, que dependen de ella. La soledad nunca es deseada.
En Occidente, en cambio, al mismo tiempo que la soledad deseada se valora como una opción, la no deseada crece como una bola de nieve y es la gran pandemia de las sociedades que se autodenominan avanzadas. 30 millones de europeos dicen sentirse solos. Y no todos son personas mayores, como podríamos pensar. En nuestro país, un 25% de la juventud también siente que padece soledad. La soledad camina de la mano de la exclusión social, retroalimentándose mutuamente. Relacionarse es una necesidad psicológica y, no tener la posibilidad de hacerlo, nos condena a problemas de salud mental y física. Está demostrado que la soledad acorta la esperanza de vida. Por este motivo, desde la Asociación Punt de Referència hemos lanzado un comunicado para incorporar el Derecho a sentirse acompañado y apoyado en la Declaración Internacional de los Derechos Humanos y acabar con la soledad no deseada.
Contra la soledad nadie está vacunado, pero las herramientas de prevención existen. La más radical es un cambio cultural o, lo que es lo mismo, avanzar hacia nuestro pasado cultural: acercarnos a Senegal y alejarnos de Suecia.
En Punt de Referència trabajamos con jóvenes ex tutelados que, al cumplir la mayoría de edad, han salido de los sistemas de protección de menores para iniciar la vida como adultos supuestamente autónomos. Muchos de ellos son migrantes y la gran mayoría proviene del Magreb y de los países de África Occidental. Son jóvenes, viven en situación de pobreza y se enfrentan a un choque cultural enorme. Desde la entidad, les ofrecemos un apoyo integral: les ayudamos en la quimera de encontrar vivienda, los acompañamos en sus aspiraciones profesionales, los motivamos para que sigan formándose y los ayudamos a superar todas las trabas burocráticas para regularizar su situación. Además de estos problemas prácticos, sobre todo, se sienten solos. Y la soledad, cuando eres joven, es aún peor, ya que te encuentras en el momento de la vida en el que las relaciones sociales adquieren la máxima importancia para el propio crecimiento personal y bienestar emocional. Por eso, el programa de apoyo principal que les ofrecemos es el acompañamiento por parte de una persona voluntaria, que lo hace desde la solidaridad y a través del afecto.
La escritora y poetisa nicaragüense Gioconda Belli decía que la solidaridad es la ternura de los pueblos. Por ello, en Punt de Referència creemos que el acompañamiento emocional es la mejor manera de ejercer nuestra solidaridad hacia estos jóvenes que se encuentran en una situación de riesgo social. Y también lo hacemos desde la reivindicación del derecho al acompañamiento afectivo. Nadie debería sentirse solo: ni una abuela sueca de 80 años, ni un joven migrante marroquí de 18, ni nuestro vecino del rellano, del cual no sabemos ni el nombre. Este es el principal choque cultural que impacta a muchos de los migrantes que llegan a nuestro país.
Es necesario reivindicar el derecho al acompañamiento afectivo, ya que el amor es la mejor vacuna contra la soledad. Al menos, esta es la teoría de Punt de Referència y la reivindicamos ejerciéndola. Porque, como dice la serie de TV3, esto no es Suecia.
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Amazing tips, I’ll be implementing them for sure!